It Was in the Stars:

It was in the stars for me to become saved. I just got back from Generation Church Conference 2008 and I can't even begin to give you a review of how it changed my life, but an original song did come out of it. One that comes from a very new place within me. My review of the conference will come soon, but for now, here's my precursor.

"Forevermore (You're Mine)"

Enter in Lord, into this barren heart
Take my old soul, and tear it apart
Let your fire pour down like rain because
For now, for always
The Cross is all I claim...

As my hope, As my dawn, As mine,
Forevermore
As my reward, As my shelter, As mine,
Forevermore

Come in Lord, release this soul from sin
Here in desperation, I plead to be forgiven
Take Your servant's hand, lead me to Your throne because
For now, for always
The Blood of the Lamb was slain...

As my hope, As my dawn, As mine,
Forevermore
As my reward, As my shelter, As mine,
Forevermore.

I am on my knees
Offering all of me
Because of the Blood
I am on my knees
Offering all of me because
The Cross is all I claim...
The Cross is all I claim...
The Cross is all I claim...
Forevermore

It's Easy to See

It's easy to see that I am forever blessed. Seriously.

God is good my friends, God is good. Lately, He's been announcing his goodness to me with loud, vibrant, awesome answers to my prayers. Each and every promise that has been laid upon my heart has been confirmed by His answer. He is my Great Commander, my Adonai, and my Chief. He is my Pursuer, my Romancer, my God. He is my Leader, my Counsel, my Friend. He is my Lover, my Lord, my Father.

I had a beautiful night with my best friend last night. We talked late and laughed hard over a cup of coffee in the comfy chairs at Starbucks. I love the nights like last night. Ones where the world just seems to stop and God comes alongside us and lifts our spirits. I feel forever blessed to have her in my life. Other than my immediate family, she's the biggest blessing in my life. We were talking to a guy named Matt outside of Starbucks last night, and he said... "I take it you two are best friends," and we replied in exactly the same tone of voice and inflection and physical motion. It made me laugh a lot.

I'm listening to a very deep song right now. It's called "Pleasing to You" and it's by Jared Anderson. It's a good song to start this weekend off with. I'm going the Generation Church conference today, tomorrow, and Saturday morning. Then it's church Sunday morning and Jason Upton on Sunday night. I'm calling it my weekend with God. I plan on it being just the two of us. One to make me reflect and transform. A fresh laid snow where I get to make the first new footprints. It will be revival.

Anyways, back to last night. Before my best friend got there I had some spare time lying around so I got to writing. This was the result. It's probably some of the most annointed writing I've ever written for myself. I feel the hand of the Lord on this...

"I hope that once, just once, my dreams and Your plans for me fully align with one another. Not only for my happiness, but for Your glory and for the Kingdom's cause. I want a reality where the sparks fly through the darkened sky to illuminate my mind and freedom of expression is painted throughout my story. I want joy throughout. Even through the struggles, even through the tears. I want a reality worth fighting and bleeding on the battlefield of faith for. I pray. I can only pray that You let Your song live within my like a song that never stops playing or a river that never runs dry. I want a faith that's reckless. I want Your vision of my path to be dangerous. Not only do I want the vision to be dangerous, I want the reality to be dangerous. Here I am Lord, send me."

...

Thought of the Day: Worship is not part of a church service. It's a lifestyle. It's a twenty-four/seven love affair with the King.

After hours...

God and I had what I can only define as an "after hours" conversation last night. It happened within my dreams. I was already restless, but I went through so many things in my dreams I got confused, very very confused. So confused I woke myself up and dropped to my knees to seek an answer as to what I had just seen. Was it a vision? Perhaps. Was it prophecy? Maybe. Could it have been completely made up by my mind to mislead me? Probably. The thing is, what I saw, what I felt, what I experienced within that dream sequence I woke up feeling. I know that is weird, but I woke up feeling like I'd lived it...

Even though I have no idea what went on in those dreams. I don't remember. I don't remember...

With that said I was led to a song. With some of the most desperate lyrics I've ever heard. I know I'm always digging deeper into music, and experiencing new things, but there are very few songs that can bring me so much conviction...

BarlowGirl- I Need You To Love Me

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

[Chorus:]
But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me

Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been...

---

I fear that as much as I run to God in ways, I run equally away in other ways. I don't know how to fully embrace the sacrifice. I don't know how to fully encounter the King. I don't know any more than the next theologian or the next homeless man on the street. All I know is my story, my life, and that He's always within it. I pretend that I'm holy, but really, I'm deep in sin. I have good days, and I have horrible ones. I just want His love in the end of it all. Salvation is right in front of me always, and I have to learn that. I have to come into contact with Him. I have to continue to develop a deeper relationship always...

2 Samuel 22:17-19

17 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

18 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

19 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

He rescues me. He rescued me. He will continue to save me. Why do I deny it?

Create in me...

Here I am, in honesty
Seeking for you to create in me,
Once again, a fresh new faith,
That endures all.

---

Lately, things have been pretty short-handed in my writing, and I'm not exactly sure why, yet, I don't hate it. It's a new form for my writing. We'll see if it lasts. Normally, I like to really emphasize my writing, adding flowing lines of dramatic relevancy and deep introspections.

That said, I've been well the last few days. Things have been stressful, I've gotten extremely behind on several projects, but I have endured. I guess you could say that it's part of my ever evolving faith. I have realized that He will always follow me. Even in my errors. For that I fall to my knees in humility. I do not deserve His grace. I don't. He called me into His Kingdom just so He can love on me more. I just became a member of my first church. I am officially a member of Overlake Christian Church. I could not be happier with my selection. Though, I believe God has played a serious role in placing me there, I ultimately needed to make the decision and I did. I am so excited to see where it takes me. I'm so excited to where He takes the church. It is evident that we are making our mark in the local community. I can't wait to see what happens globally.

---

Become dependent on Him. It's what will truly set you free.

Tried and True

Here's another short and sweet entry that should stir your heart and mine for years to come.

Being in the Bible is the greatest source of direction one can receive. With the proper counsel around you it's even more great.

Do you have the right people in your life? Check your lists. Check them twice.

Psalm 148

1Shout praises to the LORD!
Shout the LORD's praises
in the highest heavens.
2All of you angels,
and all who serve him above,
come and offer praise.
3Sun and moon,
and all of you bright stars,
come and offer praise.
4Highest heavens,
and the water
above the highest heavens, come and offer praise.
5Let all things praise
the name of the LORD,
because they were created
at his command.
6He made them to last forever,
and nothing can change
what he has done. 7All creatures on earth,
you obey his commands,
so come praise the LORD!
8Sea monsters and the deep sea,
fire and hail,
snow and frost,
and every stormy wind,
come praise the LORD!
9All mountains and hills,
fruit trees and cedars,
10every wild and tame animal,
all reptiles and birds,
come praise the LORD!
11Every king and every ruler,
all nations on earth,
12every man and every woman,
young people and old,
come praise the LORD!
13All creation, come praise
the name of the LORD.
Praise his name alone.
The glory of God is greater
than heaven and earth.
14Like a bull with mighty horns,
the LORD protects
his faithful nation Israel,
because they belong to him.
Shout praises to the LORD!

--

Perhaps this is my new anthem. My song of praise. I don't live in Israel, but I am one of His people. His faithful. His lovers. I am so proud to be a lover of Jesus Christ. Here in this moment. I know my ways and I know my rhythms, but God has them planned. Even in my struggles to find "the way" he has written my story or the chapter that I'm in I know that my destiny is planned. For that, I should be thankful for. For that, I should always remember Him. Always.

Depth in Understanding

So, people say that there's depth in understanding. I don't think so. I think there's much more depth to something if it isn't understood. Because there's depth, meaning there is a limit. Whereas if you're not understanding something, it still has places it can go. It still has mysteries that it can reveal. That's why I love the fact that God has called me to His kingdom. No matter how deep you go, there's always another level. Always another wave to ride, always another revelation to encounter.

Always another revelation.
Always another truth beyond reason.
That's what He's all about.
That's what He told me about His love.
He'll never leave me alone.

Declaration.

This is a simple entry. Compared to others I've written this one pales in length and complexity. But here it is in it's true depth and glory...

I am a sinner. I was forgiven by His grace alone.

There, that was it. Did you catch it?

Knowing.

Knowing He's listening is one of life's greatest gifts of all time.

Knowing He's working in the things that my heart so desperately cries out for is even more amazing.

Knowing He's doing the exact same things in everyone else's lives is priceless.

If you can't see the glory all around you, try looking at a sunset and saying that they "just exist." How can something so boldly beautiful "just exist?" Or look at your last meaningful conversation, or your last quiet moment, or that wonderful chord in that song that captured you.

He's there. He's everywhere. Remember, wherever you go, Love leads you and Love follows you.

At the three Crosses.

So, after church today, I've done something that I have wanted to do for a long time now. I have for a long time wanted to pray at the three crosses Overlake has at it's entrance. Today I did that. While the heavens cried long long tears over the land, I prayed, hard, almost on my knees, and I probably should have dropped, and I will next time. I prayed for everything, and everyone, and it was good.

I will do it again, I will pray always. Like we all should.

Prayer: Are you connected?

Jammed

As I sit here, I am temporarily without the use of my left ring finger, and my left pinkie finger. Why? Because I played football yesterday at work and caught the ball wrong and jammed my pinkie finger extremely bad. However, I am thankful for the invention of ice-packs, ibuprofen, and sports tape. It got me thinking though...

Even when something isn't going exactly according to plan or if things suddenly change mid-way through, I need to remember that I'm going to be just fine because He's going to be there on the other side. So while I hurt now, I triumph later.

While I hurt now, I will triumph later. That is the testament of the Risen One. He hurt for a very long time, enduring everything that was put upon him, all to rise above all in the end. From ashes to beauty. I think we'll never comprehend it, and as soon as someone claims to, something will happen again to make us doubt all over again.

I just marvel at the cross. I have so much inside my head and heart that I could and do say, but no matter how much I say, the words never run dry. This Easter season is looking much different than I could imagine it looking. Really, it's not a time to mourn, it's a time to celebrate that He rose from the dead, proving and proclaiming that GOD is the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. Now that's something I can fully support.

I'm off to take another dose of ibuprofen right now, but no matter what's here on earth we've got a better remedy in the blood of JESUS CHRIST. That is the ultimate salvation.

Open spaces...

I've realized something about open spaces. Particularly in buildings and rooms. There is so much potential to create beautiful artistry within the rooms. With walls of white, and floor of trusty hardwood, there is so much potential. Splash a cranberry red sofa, a modern painting with slight hints of bright color, a few side tables made of glass and aluminum and a lamp of brushed steel. You've got yourself a modern room. However, you throw a over-sized leather couch with a thick throw rug, a rustic fireplace, and tables made of solid oak, and you've got yourself a comfortable room...

This translates into life as this...

Our hearts should be open spaces, where our Creator can paint on us as He chooses. Freely.

Yet, here's where the beauty lies...

Say someone breaks into the room, takes something, or adds something that doesn't make sense. That taints the perfect room God has built within us. Because it takes away some of the room's strength, or adds an element that just doesn't make sense and hurts the overall impact of the room.

The question is...

What kind of room do you live in? Has someone been able to break in? Have you tried to remodel on your own?

Think on it, ponder it, absorb it. I know I have. I know I've got some remodeling by my Creator coming.

I Will Not.

I will not fear the day the Lord comes down. I will not fear to use the gospel. I will not fear the deep love around me. I will not fear. I've started realizing a lot of things lately, most of them center around fear. So now, I make the proclamation that I will not fear. Fear runs lives. Fear ruins lives. No, I didn't repeat myself. Read that more carefully.

Fear runs lives. Fear ruins lives.

Living in fear is not any longer something I will let happen. I can't. It's not a viable option for my success. It's not a viable success for anyone's success. Yet, people live in fear or failing, of loving, of dreaming, of chasing bigger things in life. Why? Because that's how society is molding us. We are such a generation where we're so stressed to do more and more and do perfectly at it. Anything less than a 99 out of 100 is unacceptable and having a job you hate but pays well is the new normal.

What happened to passion? What happened to it being alright to relax? Stress makes fear real. Fear makes stress real. I say that we eliminate stress and fear and call it fine. I'm tired of driving all night on this road of uncertainty when there's a whole lot more happening in this life for me to see.

Yet, part of me craves to be relevant with this culture, and I certainly couldn't do that if I lived without fear. What's my dilemma? Should I find something to fear?

Oh wait, I have... His name is God. I fear him to my core.

So really, I am relevant.

Go.

So many questions... only three answers.

Can you hit the mountaintop without first walking through the valley? Can you truly be victorious without first suffering defeat? Can you ever truly see the light without first running through the darkness? But the biggest question of all resounds within my head over and over again...

Could I ever go through life without my Jesus? And here's my answer...

No, I wouldn't go without the sacrifice of my Savior and the love of my Father.

He's the one who puts me through the valley so I can stand upon the mountain. He's the one who puts me to the challenge so I can feel the glory of a win...

He's the one who takes away the light so I can dance when it's found.

Would I trade it for the world?

No... I couldn't go.

How could I deny the God who gave His only Son. How could I turn from the nails in that Son? The nails He took so that I could be set free. I just can't believe He's made me who I am and that I'm perfect, made in His plan.

No, I couldn't go...

Without the One who loves me for who I truly am. The world Fights against Him for what's in my soul, my mind, and everything in between. But I won't give in, I fight it to the very end.

He's the one who created me, how could I fall into Satan's lair? When that of this world is just that. But I know, when I go, I'm really going, going to my Father in Heaven's home.

No, I couldn't go...
And if I had the choice...
No, I wouldn't go.

For the Mood.

So, I've had a rough weekend but one song has risen from the bottom of my playlist to the top. While this song is universally amazing, it just hasn't been on my "must listen" list for sometime now. However, I've remembered and relearned grace this weekend. It was brought into my current playlist and it doesn't look to be leaving for sometime now. It comes as a musical blessing to me in this time.

"Grace Like Rain" - Todd Agnew

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Chorus

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun