Mystery Part VI

As I've been writing consistently for about two weeks now I find some days that it is much easier to begin than others. Today was a real struggle to even complete these few sentences.

Creatively, I haven't been suffering lately, but it's the delivery that begs of better. I have so many grand ideas but no way to get them out of my head. It almost seems as if there's a great big disconnect. The hand is still writing just as always, the mind is still thinking just as always, but between the thought and the pen there is a void that I feel is deeper than the Atlantic Ocean...

That's the mystery of creative gifts. How strong they can be at times, and how non-existent they can seem in others. Prior to November I hadn't really written something solid or unique in several months. Granted I have quite the archive of napkin notes and phrases on receipts and half-written pages that I went back to for inspiration. No real new ideas have been given to my head to then place on the paper that I'm currently writing on.

I tend to think He does that so we remain thankful for the gifts and that we creatively don't drain ourselves and lose interest in our mastery. Which, in thinking, I did the first. I'd lost my thankful heart for being gifted with writing songs, poems, blog entries, you name it, I became very ungrateful. Not intentionally, it just kind of happens when you become comfortable with what you have. In fact, I'm not going to lie, He did take it away so that I could see just how necessary it is for me. It truly is my therapy. I don't think my gift is for the world at this point, but rather, it's my souls longing to be closer to Him but written out. Some have definitely read my writings, and some have definitely said that I am quite good and should pursue copyrights and get my material to book publishing companies and get some of my work out there, however, I feel as though it's for me, and me alone at this time. It's just a blessing if people find something relevant to their struggles within my writings. That said, I don't feel as if I should limit their abilities to receive the potential healing that my writings could provide. Then again, it is my unique writing so I feel like credit should be given where credit is due. To Him, for inspiring my thoughts, dreams, and actions. For placing in my heart goals, wishes, and aspiration. I take the earthly credit, but He deserves the eternal credit.

Overall, I am just thankful that I still have my gift and still get to actively practice it. I must remember to the Him for the gift much more often than I do. That my friends, is the mystery of creative gifts.