Caged, like an animal.

I've been listening to Britney Spears a lot lately. Her new album Circus just came out in the beginning of the month. It's been exciting to see her back on her feet and doing what she loves. A good friend and I are also going to see her on April 9th on her Circus tour. It's going to be absolutely amazing.

Tomorrow, I will be snowed in for a fourth consecutive day. It's getting redundant and tragically boring. I've made all the calls I've neglected, I've made calls I didn't want to make in the first place, I've read books, listened to music, watched TV, gotten on the treadmill, done some housework, read some more books, surfed until the end of the known internet, and now I sit here at ten minutes until eleven making tea. The sad thing is... I may not be able to make it out until Monday, and that's actually being generous. It's looking more like Tuesday. I guess this is my signal to refocus and dig deeply into myself.

So, in efforts to make my life a little less boring for the time being I'm going to resort to writing...

I got to thinking again about structure. Every time I think about it, my belief of structure is the same, and that same belief is strengthened. Structure is absolutely and entirely necessary. We need structure in our lives in order to find true existence. Why do I say that? Because without rules to break, we can't form our own ideals. We are incapable of such a feat. Why? I'll tell you...

As humans we search for definition and belonging almost our whole lives and we never give up until we find it, more likely these days, until we find something that feels like belonging...

I'm a little dizzy right now just thinking about it. Actually, I'm a little dizzy because I'm tired, and feeling just a little caged in right now. That and I fell twice on the snow/ice combination. I really don't like feeling dizzy. It's probably my least favorite feeling aside from helplessness. Anyways...

As I've grown up, I've been searching for an identity to call my own. As I turned twenty-one I believe that I found it. Well, maybe not all of it, but I found what definitely feels like the beginnings. Lately, I've been growing on that beginning and it's been a crazy ride, but one that I've absolutely loved and been thankful to be on. I am extremely excited to be who I am becoming and I am becoming someone great...

I just took my temperature, and it's 99.1, which is really high for me because my normal temperature is a little colder than the regular 98.6. I sit at a 96.7 on a normal day. It could explain my dizziness a little bit I think....

I just wish that the world would find an identity full of life and full of beauty instead of the one it seems to be going to, full of guiltless crime and corruption. I think this world needs a new, potentially stricter structure. One not so easily destroyed.