Tiesto

As I'm sitting here, I'm listening to one of the most amazing musical artists ever to come and whisper their melody into my core. You guessed it. It's Tiesto. You would not believe the way I feel right now. I'm calm, yet within my soul, I just wanna rock out all night long...

Anyways, a few entries ago I talked about structure again. I've finally been able to put a few brief thoughts together based upon my thinking. Structure, to me has become absolutely necessary. It's not guidance, but it's rule setting. People often get guidance and rules mixed up when they're entirely different concepts. Rules are structure, guidance is optional. You don't have to accept guidance, but you must follow the rules. I need more rules in my life. I need that rigid structure. I need discipline. I've been floating around this world with no care for too long. I have the proper guidance in my life, that I'm one hundred percent sure of. Now I need to have my real structure take place...

There's something that I decided that I wanted yesterday. Someone told me it would never happen. You want to know the truth? I think it's going to. Regardless of the fact that someone told me it never would. You want to know why? Because when the word never is thrown around casually it's like opening up the gates of heaven. I've said "never" many times and "never" has ever happened in any of those situations. It's like a challenge straight from our heart to God. I believe that there's a deeper reason as to why things are the way that they are right now. I mean God does not just randomly throw ingredients together and hope they make something beautiful, much like this is. He's totally creating something wonderful and while I might have to wait awhile, I know that there's something deeper than just surface. I've made the decision. I want this. I want it more than anything...

I won't stop being obedient. I won't stop being a disciple. I earnestly am before the Lord right now begging for a change of heart. Begging for acceptance.