Back at Square One

Yeah, we all know what it's like to be put back, no, forced back to square one. Quite honestly, and forgive my bluntness, it really sucks. I know that this is definitely not the most eloquently stated phrase but it's the real truth and it's not even deep under my skin or anything. Sick...

Anyways, in just under a month I am definitely looking forward to my two-day event. I will be going to my third Christian Musician Summit. It's honestly been one of the few environments where I've really been able to connect on real levels with people who are seeking just like I am. I am so happy I've attended for a few years now. I feel like a veteran. Last year was extremely significant in a way that wasn't expected at all. It's the place that I met Andrew for the first time. God orchestrated it perfectly as far as I'm concerned and the friendship has done nothing but flourish up until this point and I really am excited to see what God has in store for him. I know it's beyond big. I am also excited to see just how our friendship grows too. He will never understand his impact in my life. Never. Enough with that...

Back to the summit itself, it's two full days of teaching with Christian music's biggest names. Not only do they perform, they teach, in classroom style lectures. They shake hands, take five minutes to address you, and when they're not teaching, they're wandering the halls, just like the fellow attenders. I am always deeply restored after this event. It always refreshes the water in my mind. I think right now that I need this deeply...

There's on thing I need to erase from my mind and it's absolutely critical that I begin the process now, before I get way wrapped up in it. It's about ninety percent certain that I already am and that is what really gets to me. I am sacrificing everything I am to this cause, yet, each time there's a chance for reciprocation it never happens. I wish there was, because what this could be... well, it could be epic. Absolutely, entirely. I'm just wondering how long this ride is going to last, because it's hard, especially when I don't think the door has really been closed on the subject.

So, I'm back at square one. Loving it, well, learning that it's going to teach me new things. I am deeply excited for CMS. I need it. I need it badly.