Set Apart to do Great.

So, I just got back into my daily routine after the most insane five days of my life. I got told things I knew, got told things I thought I knew, told other people things they knew, told other people things they thought they knew, and most importantly let go of the biggest thing I needed to let go of...

I'm not willing to discuss it, but it has been the most free weeks of my life after the 16th of March happened. There's still a lot that has to happen, but a majority of the weight of this situation has left the core of my being and actually gone to God. I've never been able to do this, but I did this and this letting go was amazing...

I think it's fair that I fight only for what's worth fighting for at this point. And what's worth fighting for? Something that's fighting for me. This, this just wasn't doing it anymore...

A long time ago...

A long time ago, I was asked to write about my ideal spiritual community. Alright, not write about it. But list ten words, ten words only, on how to describe it. I am going to do it again first before I look at my old list, just to see what I've moved on from, and what I want to remain the same.

the new list

1. Hungry
2. Thirsty
3. Worshipful
4. Humble
5. Devoted
6. Giving
7. Joyful
8. Disciplined
9. Reliable
10. Seeking

the old list

1. Unified
2. Devoted
3. Loving
4. Missional
5. Serving
6. Seeking
7. Faithful
8. Worshipful
9. Diverse
10. Humble

--

So the ones that stayed were Seeking, Humble, Devoted, and Worshipful.

It's proof that the dynamic of my faith has changed. I don't know, I just thought this was super interesting. Nothing deep or anything. That's for tomorrow.

Feeling Good, Feeling Fine...

This Christmas turned out to be alright. We had some family drama and some big snow, but the thing is, I had a great time. I love my family and these are the times when I remember and truly appreciate that. Last night, I definitely remembered that. The night before last night, I definitely remember that. Today, I definitely remember it. They are the structure of my life. They provide for me unconditional support, love, and so many other great great things.

Remember that your family is always going to be there for you. Regardless of the dysfunctional moments and years, they're always going to be there for me...

I got exactly what I wanted for Christmas this year. I got love. Material wise, I got a pink laptop, brand new Ugg boots, and my Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume. But mostly, I got love. Actually, I'd go even deeper than that. I got healing. I'd been suffering from a severe case of loneliness prior to the Eve of Christmas. But now I know that I'll never walk alone.

God taught me things today and yesterday that I had forgotten. I remembered the reason for the season. I remembered to love with my whole heart again. I learned how to forgive again. I learned to let go...

I've let go of the one thing on my heart, and it was hard, but easy. Easy because I haven't been there in forever, hard because I had been there for so long. I am just glad that I know in my heart, that I am responding to the greatest love in the world and the heavens. His love.