Love me, hate me, say what you want about me...

I got a very rude awakening today. No matter how nice you are, there's still going to be people who want to kill you or worse, spread rumors about you. My integrity means a lot to me and when it gets compromised, I get very defensive. In essence today I got micro-managed! Me, MICRO MANAGED. It doesn't even properly compute. Then, after my gracious servitude to her cause, she proceeds to tell her little "circle" which also happens to be partly my "circle" that I was ineffective in my position and that she's not going to trust me anymore. Thankfully, the listening ears were smarter than to believe that and came directly to me when they found out.

I have no idea... I just know that maybe, just maybe, I'm too nice. That would be sad, because I don't mind being too nice. It's when people ask for my help, I give it, and then they override all the work I put in, and with not a single thank you, may I remind you.

In other news, my Britney Spears tickets have officially been secured. Life is great! I'm seeing an EXCELLENT show with an EXCELLENT person!

When you let jealousy invade...

I realized something today. Jealousy is stupid. Well, I knew that before. But what just happened today was absolutely entirely retarded. I wasn't just jealous (and believe me that is bad enough already), I was honestly and earnestly upset and disappointed and maybe even potentially angry. It's something I regret. After I gave my struggles and worries up to Him, I relaxed back into myself. I wish I could publicly speak out about the issue, but the thing is, I can't. It's just that lame. It's just that meaningless. It's just...

Oh how I wish I was actually important. How I wish it could be the way I want. How I wish I could really feel like I was a priority...

This is unfortunately the time of year when my depression surges, and it appears as if it's surging. This is extremely unfortunate. I'll make it out okay. I know I will.